Saturday, 9 June 2012

you can see everything

You fail, however, to reason from what you see. You are too timid in drawing your inferences.

I have felt, lately, that some of you are missing the whole point of this little charade in the name of friendship or magic or whatever is floating through your bloody minds. It makes no difference to me, but the point still stands; perhaps some of you are even harbouring what amounts to concern. It's kind of sickening, when you think about it, if not a little misguided. So let me make something perfectly clear for all of you, because what is evident is that you lot only observe what you want to observe.

This is not for you.

And I mean that in the plainest sense, with absolutely no animosity or spite; there's no need for that, especially in the face of this kind of incredible stupidity. Somewhere along the way, between my hilarious quips and subsequent complaints, an important fact became lost; I was, originally, commanded to create this blog and document my thoughts and actions. Since then, the order has changed, but in its most basic form, it still stands, undisturbed.

Every single dialogue we've shared, every piece of information I've presented, every single observation I've given? All part of the job. Nothing more, nothing less.

I suppose that part of the illusion is the comfort it provides. Perhaps it allows for you to think better of what you are yet to become when you see someone like me, someone who, maybe, is deep down a rather normal and likeable bloke, someone who you could see yourself being - if everything went well and truly sour. Trivialization is a fascinating phenomena; because it's something people will do right up to when they're about to die.

I've never fancied myself to be a liar. That's the messy sort of business, the business of my predecessors, and probably my successors. In our world (and yours, not matter how much you'd like to deny it), moral superiority means absolutely nothing aside from assigning you some kind of label of self-righteousness that one might like to believe helps them sleep better at night, but most probably doesn't, and yet it bothers me when it might be speculated that I am outright deceiving someone. And so we come to this; this is me, telling you,

Wake. Up.

Because if we ever cross paths while I'm on shift, I'm not showing you one ounce of bloody mercy.

Maybe this, all of this, is what some of you need to stay sane. To survive. Maybe you have nothing else left. And that?

That's a damn shame.


Report: Case 4705F - On 062951413's performance in the face of mild adversity

In keeping with the longtime and honourable tradition of useless and rather concerning paper trails, below I, 753381046, also known as "Sherlock", also known as "Joseph", have documented my mutual hunt of two (2) targets, as this mission acted as a diagnostic assessment for the new Squad Leader of the Baker Squad.

Formal request for previous district record and file was granted approximately [REDACTED] days ago.

062951413, also known as "Orion", also known as "Lister", requested the transfer of Division himself, leaving a seemingly comfortable job in one of the least active areas in the region. Though I cannot fathom what would cause him to do such a thing, 062951413 seems to follow orders well and without question, and preformed well in the situation. His only fault is that he has an obvious flare for the dramatic, which I cannot overlook with a clear conscience; if it gets in the way of results, I can assure you that he will be severely reprimanded, which will be put onto his record as a formal complaint, and I will scale punishment accordingly.

062951413 was officially dispatched at 23:00, unaware of my presence. I observed him exiting his place of residence, carrying various sharp objects (though I can safely say that he prefers a long razor in combat situations, [REDACTED] to incapacitate. It's high-risk but also high-return method, and will most likely prove useful against the killsquads. Of course, there's always the possibility of horrible, horrible failure, and if that is the case then 062951413 will most likely end up a smear on grimy concrete, a thought that, though morbidly entertaining, is also sobering).

4705F: 1A  - B

(I would like to note that the case title is inaccurate; though I originally tried to classify it as 4705F [M101], I was rebuked and told that [M101] was an official designation only to be used in cases confirmed to have Moriarty involvement, not in cases where involvement is suspected but can not be proved. Because the culminative amount of cases with confirmed Moriarty involvement can be counted on one hand, I have not only requested that the criteria of the [M101] designation be changed, but also have formally requested for the absolute numbskull that made the previous designation requirements to be dragged into the street and shot.)

Ah, 4705F 1A and B! We've had our collective on those two for a while now, the main reason being because they were not yet dead via evisceration or another method that our suited friend seems to enjoy so much. When 062951413 was ordered to eliminate them by any means necessary, I took it upon myself to accompany him. After all, who would leave such a delicate operation in the hands of the district amateur? I must note, however, that it is not that I didn't trust 062951413 to do the job, but rather took it upon myself to report on his actions, as per the orders handed down to me from the top; I know that my observational reports are quite highly regarded in terms of accuracy, and I can say with certainty that this document should be fully inducted into official records.


4705F 1A and B, female and male, seemingly related. 1A was known to be wily, evading passive capture and interrogation attempts, and was approximated to have been on the run for about four months. 1B, however, had only been accompanying 1A for about two weeks.

Fact: both subjects were seemingly unnoticed by the Tall Gentleman during the length of our observation, and Fact: they were in contact with some kind of outside... interference.

It is suspected that agents of Moriarty paid 1B a bit of a visit. What they did, however, is currently unknown.

They were apprehended by 062951413 with myself assisting after a few hours of direct surveillance. It may be noted at this time that while his skill demonstrated was rather impressive, 062951413 seemed to want to spill blood more than he wanted to finish the job, as ordered. His "interrogation", however, proved fruitful. 1A, while her skin was slowly being peeled off her body, screamed something about being "cured".

Cured. Rather troubling, wouldn't you say so, Sir(s) and Madame(s)...?

Formal request for official inquiry has been filed.

I disposed of 1B myself after an incident that involved a fair bit of... disrespect. It may be noted that 062951413 is free to comment on the incident if he so wishes, but I did not abuse my privileges as Handler. It may also be noted that removing teeth while the target is still alive, while messy, is also shockingly practical once said target is set on fire. I was informed the body was downright impossible to identify by the cleaning crews.

Formal request to have the technique taught to trainees in the future has been filed.

In conclusion, the investigation and subsequent elimination of 4705F 1A and B proved not only fruitful by way of information gathering, but also as a test of 062951413's abilities. I can say with a clear conscience that he will not disappoint, and has a bright future in regards to the Organization as a whole.

Expecting back the results of my filing within the month,




  1. Suddenly finding the need to disillusion the desperate and doomed?

    1. Suddenly forgetting your italics? Quit playing with your fucking phone and get back to work.

    2. Simply being honest. In my experience, it is one of the best policies. Honesty, that is.

  2. Too late; those are gone.

    1. That makes a startling amount of sense. Truly, your comment is enlightening in nature.

      That was sarcasm, by the way. It would be appreciated if you tried not to be a waste of space in the future, though I'm not holding my bloody breath on that one.

  3. Joseph, Joseph, Joey-Boy, Joseph... I am DEEPLY insulted that you find a flair for the dramatic to be a NEGATIVE! Look at how many of us REVEL in flash and flair, and still pull off being rather dangerous. There is NOTHING wrong with sticking a target in an over-complicated death trap. There is nothing wrong with giving a triumphant speech to your nemesises(Nemesii?). Nothing wrong Revealing your presence atop a tall building, long flowing coat/cape/thing blowing in the night wind. After all, I get by just fine doing all these things.

    1. Right up until the point where you died, right?

    2. Yes but that had nothing to do with being dramatic.

    3. You may notice, Morningstar, that I said he would only be reprimanded in the case of it interfering with his results. You get results. Somehow.

      Though as a Handler it is also my job to "make myself busy", so to speak. Between all the paperwork at least.

      Take that as you will.