Sunday, 11 December 2011

(Honking)


Report begins
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Target, female, Caucasian, blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes between ages of 7 and 8. Named Amelia Connors, hereafter 3149Q-A.

Began observation at 14:00 local time, observed that 3149Q would not return to Domicile until 16:30 local time, but both guardians were already present. Plan was formulated. Simple entrance through the rear door, closest to the stairs, enter 3149Q’s room, dispatch target, and then leave the premises via the window. 

Simple, effective.
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Equipment was assured to be in Proper Working Order beforehand. Entered the premises at 16:35. Rear door to the domicile was not Secure. Subject’s Guardians 3149Q-B and C were lax in their measures to protect themselves.

At approximately 16:36, a small explosion to the south of the Domicile alerted 3149Q-B and C, to my presence as they moved to investigate the source. Was forced to employ less subtle methods to subdue them, a small explosive device intended to blind and stun was deployed and 3149Q-B and C dispatched.
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To my misfortune, this alerted my competition. The clown arrived via the rear entrance I finished dispatching 3149Q-C with my knife. He fired some manner of sharp projectile Disguised as a novelty item at me. 3149Q-C’s body served as Adequate cover against the attack, at which point the clown had already moved towards our target. 
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3149Q-A proved more resourceful than her age might initially have suggested, having escaped via the window I had intended to make my exit from. The clown followed quickly, and apprehended 3149Q as she attempted to vault a two meter tall fence unsuccessfully. I had appropriated the sharp projectile Disguised as a novelty item, which as the clown proceeded to dispatch 3149Q-A, I struck him with. Repeatedly. In the head. I confess to a certain Satisfaction in doing so. While I cannot argue his efficiency, the clown is not subtle. And the Function of a clown is Not Aligned with it's Stated Purpose. Clowns are frightening to small children.

The clown retaliated. I am glad that my equipment was in Proper Working Order, or more severe wounds would have been sustained. The reinforcement to this vest was a useful addition to its Function, though it is no longer suitable for the purpose I had in mind for it. Incendiary damage to the fabric has left it less useful. Sustained several Minor lacerations to the right forearm, as a result of the clown’s knife. Burns to the left and right forearm as the result of an incendiary device masquerading as a novelty item. Negligible water damage to minor equipment was sustained in extinguishing the resultant conflagration.
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A formal note to the Disposal Squad, the clown has been thoroughly reprimanded for his less than subtle entrance. At least one domicile was in flames when I made my departure. I apologize for not disposing of 3149Q-B and C. However, I had affixed the clown to the ground by means of the aforementioned sharp projectile. Likely damage to the competition, minor puncture wound to the right foot, possible concussion as a result of blunt force applied to the head. Several lacerations, unsure of exact location or contact. Consider him dealt with.
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Summary: 3149Q-A: Dispatched by competition.

1 comment:

  1. At least he won't be walking away unscathed.

    ReplyDelete